Yoga Teacher Training: Barefoot Bliss

A lot has happened since the first post on the first day of my teacher training. I am still not sure where this will take me but there is sense of inner peace in following a calling and not really knowing what the outcome will be, or whether it will lead to success or not. Hmm, success. That dirty word!
"I have to be successful"
"He is very successful"
"The key to success is hard work"
"She's had a very successful career"
"Success is the key to happiness":
Well...
Or, is happiness the key to success?

The key, I think, for me right now is to redefine success. What I have gained so far is a deeper understanding of yoga. I am hopeful that this deeper understanding will translate into my life on a personal and relational level and bring me closer to my true nature and thusly, closer to the world around me. The true self...after all of the layers and defenses are stripped away. They say that when we are closer to our true nature we attract good things, good people and 
a sense of peace and joy.  I have had immense joy during this period. I have had
many supportive and wonderful people come along on this journey. 
Maybe it's working!!!
To be continued!


One thing I know for certain is that I have been barefoot during the last several months more so  than at any time in my adult life. There is something wonderful about going barefoot. It is a sense of freedom and honesty. I feel sense of play. The child within steps up and says, "Don't take yourself so seriously...I want to have some fun!". Yes, being barefoot lets me come out and play. It gets me a little closer to the truth of who I am. It gives me permission to speak out without fear. It reduces the ego a bit. That's the ticket. Yes!


So I encourage everyone to get barefoot, preferably in a yoga studio, or even in your office. Just take your shoes off for ten minutes and see if you don't feel a little more at ease, a little more yourself...


Get barefoot!


Namaste Friends,
steve

Yoga Teacher Training: A teacher called pain

"I choose to ignore that pop I just heard"
"Is my kidney supposed to hurt in downward dog?"
"I am going to get my knee in lotus position if I have to tear my ACL to do  it!"
"It's supposed to hurt, right?"

If you have silently said these things to yourself during your yoga practice you are not alone. As beneficial as yoga is to the entire system, some poses...pose a risk. Knees and shoulders are susceptible, as are lower back, elbows and wrists. This is where awareness and honesty must be part of a practice.

I can tell you that I have powered through warning signs. It's not worth it. In fact, it is not what yoga intends for us. However, we live in a world that says, "No pain, no gain," "Push through the pain", "Never quit", etc.

In yoga these beliefs can cause injury. Many positions put joints in a somewhat vulnerable position and if not respected and practiced with mindful awareness things can happen. The concept of backing off is terribly important. Subtle shifts can alleviate improper alignment. It is about awareness and knowledge of correct alignment.

As a student teacher I am very focused on learning as much as possible about proper alignment and ensuring that the student understands what that is for each pose. But ultimately, people will do what they want. Sometimes the best teacher is pain. Physical, emotional...it forces us into awareness and change...sometimes!

I have experienced this type of injury by going too deeply into a side stretch and overextending my hip. Geuss what? I am now very aware of what my body is telling me in side stretches.

Thank you pain!!!

Yoga Teacher Training: Poetry of the Flow

Vinaysa flow, the synchronization of breath and movement, brings as closer to that place of well-being and peace, serenity and acceptance. The brass rings of recovery. If done correctly this particular yoga style can transform one's thoughts and focus. It is a moving mediation, a poem written dynamically though the breath
and within the body.

As I continue my practice and my training, one of my goals is the undoing of some of the habits I dragged into class with me. Like an old, musty sea-bag stuffed full from years of meandering down backwaters of fear and self-delusion...full of broken tools, tools that simply never worked and perceptions of self that created shadows upon everything.

As we have all experienced at one time or another in our own personal journeys, we may have acknowledged the sea-bag of self doubt and delusion. We may have said, "Look, this old way of living isn't working for me. Holy crap, I need to change things up and pronto!"  "Whoa easy Tonto!", I say to myself. Awareness does not necessarily bring about desired change, as we all know. I say 'not necessarily' because I do believe that there are times when a person's awareness can bring about a dramatic and radical shift. But usually, as in my case, it comes along by coming out of the cave, plodding down the path and showing up on the mat. Oh, and then we take what we discovered about ourselves off the mat and into the world at large.

Change occurs at a glacial pace. Water wears down rock, but imperceptibly.

With my awareness focused on breath, movement and intention I can experience a sense of relief and sometimes bliss.The relief comes from cessation of thought. Bliss comes from the physical change happening inside the body: Oxygenation and flow of blood to lungs, limbs and vital organs. This creates a sense of peace and joy.

A surrender to the poetry of body, breath and intention...


Namaste, Friends 

Publish Post

Yoga Shout Out: Some Like It Hot!

Sweat pouring like a little cloudburst around my mat. The result of exertion. The bodies response to overheating. A warning to slow down. But there we are in our sweat proof shorts panting and dripping, refusing to stop. We see a gathering pool in front of our mats. We think, "I need one of those yogi toe mats to sop this stuff up. Crap! Now I can't do a downward dog because I am slipping. My mat is now a Slip n' Slide (If you are to young to remember what that is too bad for you!). Why is the teacher pushing us. It's too much. Oh thank god, she just called for a Child's Pose. How about a paramedic while your at it because I really think I could have a heart attack here. But I am not going to stop! Then the teacher says,, "Jump to a forward bend, come to standing pose, arms overhead, and hands resting at your side...and breathe" Oh thanks teacher. As if I am going to forget to breathe! Oh, I guess I did stop breathing there for awhile while I was thinking. Never mind.

You have just witnessed an excerpt from inside my head. Paradoxically, the purpose of yoga...well the ultimate outcome, should be the cessation in the fluctuations of the mind. Impossible you say? I say impossible too! But it's okay becuase sometimes you just get into a loop of thought. So I try not to fight it too much and just let it pass.

Back to heat and sweat. The nice thing about doing some rapid sun salutations is that it generates internal heat. That in turn heats up the muscles and tendons and consequently we can be a bit more limber, which of course helps the poses.

This heat building is typical of Ashtanga yoga, where in the beginning of class a rapid succession of up and down "sun salutations" generates the heat for the remaining poses. In Bikram yoga, the heat is produced for us. This may be helpful for those that are not at all flexible. This style can help those with extreme inflexibility start to open up more quickly.

I think it's fun to mix it up and try them all. Why not? Life is about adventure.
So take yourself on one.
Some like it hot, some don't.
But eventually you are going to sweat in class.
So enjoy it because that means that you are putting forth the effort
and the systems in your body will be happier for it.



Namaste, Friends

Yoga Teacher Training day 9: The Pearl Is Inside

When I find myself in any state of non-acceptance, this is when I start to exert myself more intensely. I start to self-will it. Why I do this is curious because historical evidence weighs in against a positive outcome. Rather, the outcome is not what I thought 
I wanted to happen and usually it is for the better. I marinate in the pain of non-acceptance for awhile until the reality crystallizes and I am faced with a choice.

So let's peer into the essence of that moment when we are getting ready to bulldog it. In particular, a yoga pose is a prime example of a situation where we can exert ourselves in order to "win". Win the pose? We all know that is a somewhat silly statement when speaking of yoga. Yet, I myself have descended into the depths of self-competition only to come up empty-handed, like a pearl diver who keeps plunging into the North Branch of the Chicago River expecting to haul up a luminescent treasure that simply does not exist.

I am sure the ego is one of the culprits. Ego and perhaps fear.  Does one cause the other? I am not really sure but I know they can nicely coexist and when they do things get a little murky, just like the North Branch of the Chicago River.

But when I relax and take it easy, and focus on the breath I start to feel peace...maybe even joy. Things start to turn green again. I can be grateful for exaclty where I am able to take my physical body into the pose.
No judgment or wishing for what is not there. I can find joy in that moment and gratitude for where I am
and not for where I wish to be. And that is where the pearl waits: right within ourselves.


Namaste, Friends

Yoga Training: The "Science" of Yoga? Say what?!

So the question remains for me: what is yoga? 

Is it a sporty outfit from Lulu Lemon? Maybe.           Is it a pool of sweat surrounding my mat? Perhaps.   Is it a fall out of a posture and onto the floor that I can no longer hold? Definitely! 

And then there is the science of yoga. Yes, science. When I first heard these two words words put together, the sound of screeching brakes went off in my head. I am curious to know more about this. There are specific things that happen to our muscles, ligaments and nerves endings when we practice. 

Good things. Things that make you go "Whoa"! 

Since I was never good at science in school (sorry to Jeanne Fagan in high school chemistry...I was her partner and caused her much consternation...think Jerry Lewis with ADD) I was nervous about this concept.   But if you think about the sequences and  the human anatomy and what pose readies another, then it starts to resolve a bit. There is so much more. 

Yoga is quite a vast discipline. It's not all downward dog and a slap of the mat as it is hurled out onto the floor. It's not about "getting in shape", although it seems that yoga does provide this service. Some movements are very subtle but very powerful in their effects. It's certainly a journey of intersecting paths and meandering-meadows of self-discovery.  

But I digress. Back to nerve endings. Our feet, ankles, shins...have taken a beating. The shoes we wear have created a whole industry (Dr. Scholls) to deal with planar fascitis, bunions, etc. Recently, I was taught a pose that caused a bit of an unpleasant sensation in my ankle/shin region. It was intense. Not pain mind you, but a sort of low-grade screaming in this area.  P.S. I would be happy to show you this pose anytime.

Apparently it is the nerves in this area that have become deadened due to the footwear we love so well. We need our shoes, pumps, boots, Birkenstocks, joggers, hikers. I get it!
We all can't walk around like Cody on "Dual Survivor-Discovery Channel" who has not worn shoes in
like 15 years. But through the science of yoga we can reawaken areas in our bodies that long for new
energy. Nerves that have been suffocated can be regenerated. Sounds like science to me!

So, grab your mat and get to a class and reawaken your bad self! 

Namaste, Friends

Yoga Training Day 8: "What Lights You Up?"

 A student asked about which style of yoga was more suitable. Suitable to...what? A person's personality? A mood? A goal? Probably "yes" to all of these.The teacher talked about Iyengar, Ashtanga, Hatha....pick one. She has never said, "This style is the best", or "That style is not good" when speaking of various styles.

But she continued talking about this topic and ultimately closed with something that resonated with me:  "What light's you up?".

So, I thought about that. In yoga, it is the challenge of a complex pose, or simply being consistent in my practice. It is facing my fear on the mat and being open to whatever it is I am feeling in that moment. And the various styles certainly bring about different reactions for me. We are lucky. We live in a city that has a multitude of yoga studios, all with varying styles.

Sitting on my mat and being close to people I may or may not know is a bit unnerving at times.Certainly more so when I first started yoga. But depending on where I am at emotionally, it can still make me feel uncomfortable and that's okay.  I am no longer in control of the situation. I am vulnerable. There is no computer screen. I don't have my ipod in. I am not checking for the next text. I am not managing any situation...or anyone. There is no structure except that of  the teacher's vocal instructions stepping us through each pose or breathing exercise. I find a purity within this.

Some people say they find yoga to be too boring. I get that. We are so accustomed to stimulation from external sources. We are rushing from  home to job, to school, to meeting, to therapist, to Target, to Costoco. We are human doings. We run, take spin classes, go to movies, take trips, go to dinner.

And how lucky we are to have all of these activities.

Indeed, it feels quite unnatural to be in a yoga studio, slowing down and moving slowly...breathing in a way that is rhythmic and deep and un-rushed (if the breath is labored we are pushing too hard to "get" the pose...happens to me often). But what I find in yoga, when all of my focus is on my breath synchronizing 

with my movement, is that I can "see" my thoughts, I can feel that neediness to be somewhere else or to be  resolving some unresolved issue. Ah! But then I can pull back into the beauty and simplicity of just focusing
on breath, pose, acceptance, non-judgement....freedom.

That lights me up!

Namaste, Friends

Yoga Teacher traing Day #7: Thoughts creep in like a fog

"If you'd like to go deeper..." We talked about this in class yesterday. This refers to when the teacher will demonstrate one version of a pose and then a more advanced version...and                 sometimes even another level. I remember hearing this when           I first started yoga.  Can the teacher not see that I am shaking and grunting into the pose?! No, I did not want to go deeper. It is at these moments when my mind takes over and I start to judge. I judge me or maybe the teacher. I look at other students that are able to "go deeper" and tell myself I am not good enough. I might say to my mat, "I should not have picked you, you are not sticky enough!".

Whatever the mind digs up in those moments of challenge.

It is here that acceptance becomes part of a yoga practice. It is this concept, when I am beyond my capacity and I lose the beauty of breath and a calm, that I believe is the part of yoga that I strive to take off of the mat and into my everyday life. When am I beyond my limits or in a situation that I am no longer able to handle, do I dig my heels in and potentially create chaos because I am not in acceptance of some particular situation that is beyond my control? Or, do I take a moment and check with where I am and what is really going on behind the dramatic moment? Can I back off, breathe and walk away and find emotional balance?

For me, this is where the practice of yoga emulates life and where yoga teaches me lessons as to how I might better live my life and avoid struggle.

As I write this I hear the crowds cheering the runners for the Chicago Marathon. I can't run right now. My knee is adjusting. I have no idea when it will feel healthy enough to start running again. It is an opportunity to accept where I am.  A physical and concrete reminder. Pain. Limitation. Well, this is what I am talking about. Can I truly be okay without creating any judgement or negativity?

I have gone deeper over the years of my practice. I have been able to go deep into poses that I honestly thought would forever be beyond my grasp, beyond my ability. But I kept showing up on the mat. I imagine it is similar to those folks running the marathon.  For me progress in life was never a decision, a subsequent action and then straight line to victory and success. I am always re-grouping, re-motivating, recommitting.   And I accept that...sometimes.

But thoughts can creep in like a fog to obscure the progress that we make

A yoga class is often litmus test as to where I might be in my life. More often that I would like to admit, that wondrous moment of being in a pose that comes together and transcends effort and ego, is hard to come by in my own everyday life and in relations with others.

But when we find it...

When breath  flows like a cool brook

The gaze soft and steady

A smile of peaceful acceptance

And effort floats away like a bright autumn leaf, in a gust of wind

This is why I keep coming back to the mat....the fellowship

Namaste, Friends

Pranayama on the High Seas

I remember back in around 1984-ish, aboard the USS Midway (now a floating museum in San Diego),
we were having one of  our longed for "Steel Beach Picnics". After 45 days of consecutive sea time they would fly on beer and BBque and we would set up grills on the flight deck.  Each sailor got 2 Beer chits. I paid $ 40 dollars for 2 additional chits.
But that was then.

So, as I am walking along in a self-satisfied manner with my Budweisers proudly displayed in my hands like religious icons, I see a sailor laying on his back doing some sort of freakish breathing exercise. I looked at my friend in horror, took a swig of my rapidly heating Bud (we were in the tropics at that point).

Well, now I know what he was doing: Pranayama. This is the part of yoga that is concerned with breath and energy. It is probably the most important aspect in the practice of yoga. Why? Well, because when one struggles through poses without a smooth and proper breathing then the healing properties are not realized, injury is more likely to occur and the body gets stressed rather than nourished.

I was a long way from home, a long way from recovery and a long way from understanding that this particularly enlightened sailor that I had scoffed at was giving me a glimpse of something. My reaction
to what he was doing was pronounced. I was almost insulted by what I was seeing. Interesting how when the reactions are strong there is something down the road that makes one look back and say, "Oh, now I understand".

Last night I attended a Pranic Healing Workshop as an optional event for the teacher training program. Although the skeptic in my is still  alive and kicking, my mind has opened just a bit. Just enough for a little
light to shine through.

Now I am a long way from the USS Midway and Yokosuka Japan, a long way from
that last Budweiser and a little bit farther away from being closed minded to
new ideas and perspectives, I hope!

Namaste, Freinds

Yoga Teacher Training: Day #5

Day 5
Have I memorized my Sankrit chants yet? Not quite...I am finding that my ability to memorize lines has degraded. A friend recently suggested that maybe the training will improve that ability. We shall see. During this class we studied very basic Sanskrit vowel/consonant pronunciation and then some corresponding words. It really is a beautiful language. I was able to decipher one word from the Sanskrit symbols which translated to KAMALA, which means lotus (a specific variety). Ah, I was once able to memorize Japanese words with relative ease (and the use of the term relative here, um....is also relative).


As I struggle with the complex glottal, back-of-the-mouth, roof-of-the-mouth, tip-of-the-tongue pronunciations, I notice that my my accent sounds more Russian than Indian? I may end up sounding like Yakov Smirnoff  - The Yoga Instructor. Thankfully, learning the Sanskrit symbols is extra credit in class and not required. But it is good to study the root of the words in the language from which yoga was born.


Now for the knee. Last year I twisted it. I just turned on my left knee, keeping my booting firmly planted forward. Did I subconsciously do this in order learn from the pain that is now forcing me to pay attention to my practice? Maybe. It's taken this a long time to heal and it's not quite done yet. So, don't do that "keep the foot planted and turn suddenly on the knee" maneuver. And now, this little knee issue has resurfaced just as I started teacher training. 


The ensuing Shakespearean Tragedy I created in my head over this included:
"How can I be a teacher with a bum knee?", I said to my teacher. She replied,
 "I know many wonderful yoga teachers with knee issues, hip issues...
and because of that they are more aware and can be helpful to others in class 
with the same issues."


Another blow to my inner bully that keeps telling my to quit.


And the journey unfolds...like the lotus.


Namaste, Friends

Yoga Teacher Training: Day 4

Day #4


Prior to teacher class, I attended Rich Logan's "Mindful Vinyasa" class, which means you never know what you're gonna get and it will always awaken a pose that you "thought" you had mastered.
What I like about Yoga is that there can be no definitive touchdown
(I really hate sports analogies but they work), no final "I got it". Everyday the body is different....the mood our emotions, what happened during the day. All of it comes into play and can inform our practice.

Amy, the teacher said to me during an adjsutment., "Don't fight me". It was funny...and a couple of students including myself laughed out loud (as opposed to laughing on the inside). I was not letting go into the Pasarita Padottanasa My hands were clasped and leveraged overhead, coming towards the floor. She was turning my fingers the opposite way in order to demonstrate a subtle adjustment that deepens the pose. I did stop fighting and, sure enough, my hands flipped and my arms folded towards the floor much father than my mind told me they could.


Lesson learned???
It's helpful to turn the mind OFF during practice and most of the time for that matter.
In fact the only time you need to turn the mind on is if you are:

• Flying a jet
• Performing surgery
• Flossing (wait....no the mind gets in the way here too)
• Filing taxes

Things like that...

Yoga Teacher Training: Day #3

#3 

Things always change. We continue to dissect poses, learning proper alignment and the adjustments that will be necessary for a future student (it might be you so I will take notes!). One of my favorites we worked on (and one of my most most feared) was "Reclining Hero" pose (Supta Virasana). Sounds perfect, right?! I get to be a hero and be casual and relaxed. But there is nothing casual about this one. It can be tricky on the knees and can produce powerful reaction in the thighs (which they say is where we store our anger...uh oh!).  From the injury to my left knee last Nov. this pose is always a challenge. But this is the part  about acceptance and the ego. My ego says, "If you can't do all the poses perfectly and all the time then you have failed." Oh ego, your such a needy bastard... 

But the best part of the day was the Dharma Mittra workshop we attended as part of our training requirement with Cara Jepsen. 

It was a transformative experience and produced a powerful emotional response. I encourage anyone to try her weekly class at YogaNow on Thursday at 10am. Some of the poses are challenging but Cara brought a sense of play and lightness that adds a bit of magic. She is an amazing and inspiring teacher.

The Lesson: stay on the journey because you never know when the next 
enlightening person and/or situation will manifest to bring you to a new 
level of awareness.

Namaste Friends,

Steve 

Yoga Teacher Training: Day 2 & 3 reflection

Welcome back!

#2 My mind was telling me, "Maybe this isn't going to work for you."  That old bully in my head was rattling the cage.

I was not as ebullient nor as centered as I was in the 1st class. Plus, I was fighting a sinus/upper chest ailment so I was feeling rather....poopy.Then a thought occurred to me: I don't have to be 100% all the time. My attitude may falter or I may feel out of sorts but it does not mean I have to  turn my will and my life, or the moment, over to a little rough patch. It always passes. 

The Lesson: I can be NOT okay and still be okay. Okay?

Namaste Friends,

Steve 

Yoga Teacher Training: Day 1 reflection

Day 1 - The teachers started with a Yoga Sutra call and response chant. One of them translates to: "Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind". Or, put another way that spoke to me, "A blissed out state."

Oh, I sure hope so. That would be sweet!
I am afraid it means devotion to a daily practice, which means commitment. Crap!

But I'm willing to try :)

We then got right into the history of yoga. A progression of how it came to be what we know today. What a dizzying array of methods and "schools" of yoga we have now. Surely anyone who desires to explore this practice can find some form that works for them...of their own understanding.

The particular yoga studio I am studying with is based on the teachings of Patabhi Jois (pronounced Joy - how appropriate), who founded the Ashtanga method. we are also focused on Hatha and Vinyasa. All of them seem to be related and borrowed from each other in some way or another. I am still confused by all of the nuances and differentiations.

But that does not matter, right? Progress...showing up.

The teacher, Amy, asked if anyone wanted to to demostrate "upward dog". Of course I did! So, as the ego steps in during any pose strange things can occur. I really wanted to show everyone how well I could show this pose. Well, you know... I have really worked at this one. I felt myself getting lighted-headed as I powered into the pose, and in fact was not that far off from passing out due to an over extension of the lower back. In other words, going beyond where my body was telling me I could go at that time. Best lesson of the day learned: Ego is not helpful in yoga.

P.S. this is a random, unknown yoga girl...I thought her form was an excellent example

of correct alignment for the pose.

I will keep coming back...

Namaste - steve

Yoga Teacher Training: Day 1

Hello, and welcome to Day 1 of my Yoga Teacher Training Blog. Right now, the morning of the first class, I am drinking coffee...not herbal tea. As I think about what a true yogini should be doing to prepare for Day 1 of teacher training the only thing I could come up with was, "I better clip my toenails."

The gentlemen on the left is Iyengar, a personal hero of mine. He overcame poverty and indifference to yoga within the very country in which it was born, and started his yoga teaching journey when he was around 40. In his 80's he is still doing backbends! He wrote "Light On Yoga". If you want to understand poses and the benefits, this is one book to get.

I know, I can "hear" your eyes roll up followed by, "ugh, yoga!". Oh, I am with you and have desperately assembled numerous reasons to NOT to take yoga teacher training. For example:

• It's too expensive
• I am an old-timer dude and it's creepy
• I should focus on my job and be practical
• It's a ridiculous idea
• It will never amount to anything
• Not everyone in class will like me
• I won't like everyone in class
• etc.

But for anyone who knows me, my love of yoga outweighs my misgivings about stepping into this little adventure. In a sentence: Yoga makes me happy. But is that the goal of yoga, or the intention, as it were? (Ah, intention. That word is often used within yoga class: "What is your intention for today's class". More on that later). I don't know the answer. But I feel better when I practice yoga as opposed to when I do not. Can you imagine how I would be without it?!!!

You know what, let's not imagine.

I read today, "We must focus on the nature of our efforts, and not the nature of the results." Hmm...great!!! Okay.

If you've gotten this far, I thank you. Please follow along with me on this path

as I chronicle my experience. Maybe it will inspire you towards yours :)

I would also like to express profound gratitude to my friends who all replied with

the same answer when I said, "Hey, I am thinking of taking yoga teacher training."

and all of you answered back, "Oh, you totally should."

To me, that is love in action.

Without your kindness it would not have happened.

Thank you.

Namaste,

Steve